Sexless In Seattle

Mood: Optimistic, excited and living in my Empress Energy

Here we go again. She’s back, back, back at it again! Anyone that knows me knows that I have spent years, upon years, upon years, starting and stopping dating. Sometimes I stopped because I felt discouraged, sometimes I stopped because I got bored and sometimes I stopped because I was having a lot of dating success IRL and didn’t need the apps. In the past dating felt like revisiting the site of a car crash. My intentions were to go to the site of the crash to heal but I always seemed to just reopen up old wounds.

But this time around something has shifted. I’m having fun! I’m playing a game (to be clear not playing games) and really co creating my universe. I have a new outlook on life, fueled by my spiritual journey. I’m following my highest excitements. I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and most importantly I’ve fully detached from expectations. Taking the steps to heal myself and explore my spirituality has given me a confidence that I’ve never had before. I have realized, THIS IS MY SHOW BITCH! I’m dating as the star, I am and all of my co stars are here for my entertainment (and theirs too if they come with sincerity and a genuine interest in getting to know me). So, let’s get into date number one. First of all I want to be clear that I am not using real names because I want to protect the innocent (and the guilty) from public scrutiny. These are human beings and I’m not here to embarrass anyone. I only want to share my experience.

We will call our first co star Captain Jack. He works with his hands, outdoors and has a free spirit and seems to have a genuine connection to nature, water and knowledge. I want to start with what I like about him. Firstly, he’s obsessed with me (to be honest all the guys I’ve dated so far are. Seems to be a common theme). Secondly, he’s creative, a musician who writes and produces his own music and from what he tells me, he is a former rock star (well, rock star adjacent) but he doesn’t have the brash ‘I’m hot shit’ vibe that sometimes can come with that. Lastly, he’s well read and can hold a good conversation, which is very important to me. I want to know that someone is interested in more than just my gorgeous, voluptuous body.

The date itself began at one of my favorite places, a beautiful park not to far from my house that has forests, water and mountains. We parked kind of far from each other so the date started with us Dora the Exploring our way through the woods to find one another. Aesthetically I didn’t have any heart palpitations when I saw him. I liked that he seemed like a rugged no frills guy but I like a man who puts in effort. Captain Jack showed up very dressed down, like sitting in the house playing video games, dressed down. Whereas I showed up in a cute, simple, pink dress with my most comfy yet fashionable sandals. Now, I’m not judging a book by its cover (well, I guess I kind of am) but when I saw him I did have to gather myself a bit and really lean into the conversational aspects of our date.

We quickly found a place to eat and spent the time talking about everything from our pasts (I’ve traveled and lived all over and have spent most of my life chasing adventures. He toured with a band, lived in a commune and is a self educated, pretty well read, down to earth bloke). After our meal we spent a couple of hours walking through the park, we talked, religion, politics, economy (pretty much every taboo first date topic) but I didn’t mind. He was respectful and engaging. Now, was I attracted to him in a way that would make me want to pursue a relationship? No. But he was such a great person for me to have met to dip my toe back into the dating scene. I’m thankful to him for being a genuinely nice dude and to the universe for helping me ease my way back into the dating scene. We would end up going on a second date (his fashions did not improve at all). It’s clear that he is attracted to me but I’m not there with him. We’ll see if a platonic friendship develops but for now, thank you Captain Jack for the smooth sailing. I remain hopeful in my dating journey but she is still…

Sexless In Seattle

With love, Me.